The year I discovered Blogging. So being serious for a moment, thanks to everyone who's left a comment and signed me up as a friend it means a lot to know I have a whole new bunch of mates out there. Hope you all have a terrific night whatever you're doing. Mrs M and the Little Boss are getting glammed up for tonights festivities so until 2008.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Must admit at half time I was worried but of course I had no need to be concerned. 1-0 down the Arsenal of old might have folded but not Mr Wenger's wonderboys. I think Eduardo proved just why we paid 8 million for him and the rest proved they have guts and determination. Only black mark was Mr Bendtner how quickly you can go from hero to zero. Gifted Everton their goal by failing to clear the corner and was lucky not to break Andy Johnson's leg. But he's young and he'll learn. Now for those who haven't the faintest idea what I'm wittering on about just pick up the Sunday paper turn to the sports page and look at the Premier League Table.

Total Crap Inc in Association with the British Olympic Fund offer you the chance to build a scale replica of the 2012 Olympic Stadium out of matchsticks and sticky back plastic with a couple of old Fairy Liquid bottles thrown in for good measure. Just add a Boy Scouts Tent and your model will be perfect. Available from all good newsagents from January 1st. Edition number one at the special introductory rate of £100 then weekly for £10,000 over 208 weeks. Why not collect our sister edition Build Your Own Olympic Logo out in February comes with free box of crayons and limited edition Ken Livingston nodding doll

Hope you're all having a cracking day. I'm sorted for the next few weeks Little Boss bought me The History of Highbury, that's my girl! Mrs M is about to train her brain with her new Nintendo DS and Little Boss is happy snapping everything that moves with her camera. Just waiting for a final 30 minutes of gloom and despondency from Albert Square then its a few sandwiches and Catherine Tate. Cheers everybody

Soap on a Rope
The K-tel Brushamatic
Mackeson
Macfisheries
Sugared Almonds
Escalado
Brentford Nylons
Simon Dee
Jamboree Bags
Blakeys
Eddie The Eagle
Mr Magoo
Fred Housego
Gordon The Gopher
Saint & Greavsie
The Likely Lads
Aztec Bars
Norman Collier
Ian Mcaskill
Space Hoppers
Rayleigh Choppers
The Clangers
Mrs Slocombe's Pussy

Any ideas?

“Mr Scrooge Sir wake up, Mr Scrooge” said Balls shaking the bell on Gordon’s night-cap.
“No Mrs yes well, nice to see you, D’oh, what oh Balls its you.”
“Yes Sir the cabinet are downstairs awaiting your meeting.” Replied Balls for it was he.
“Oh and this arrived” he continued, handing Gordon a brown paper parcel.
Gordon tore at the wrapping and looked inside.
“Excellent Balls”
“What Sir?”
“No excellent Balls on the tree”
“Oh but what’s that it looks like a couple of CD’s. Is it that copy of Andy Stewart’s Greatest Hits you ordered from Amazon. Oh Donald where’s your trousers! I love that one.”
“No Balls it’s a Christmas card from HMRC someone must have put a couple of discs in by mistake give them to some charity or other will you I have no time for music.”
“OK but what about the meeting?”
“But Balls its Christmas lets celebrate get the Cook to lay more places for dinner invite the cabinet and tell Tiny David he can open his presents after the pudding.” Said Gordon.
“Er are you Ok Sir?”
“ Perfectly fine Balls perfectly fine.”

Later that day.

“Now everyone I’m sure you’re wondering why I have called you here.”
“Excuse me Sir” interrupted Balls.
“What is it Balls, spit it out.”
“Cook wants to know about the vegetables.”
“Tell her they’ll have the same as me, now get out.”
“Yes Sir” said Balls heading for the kitchen.
“Now as I said I assume you wondered why I called you here.”
“Uncle Gordon, Uncle Gordon”
“What is it Tiny David?”
“Ed’s taken my stocking tell him to give it back tell him or I’ll scream!”
“Ed give it back to him will you or its no crackers for you.”
“Now I guess you.”
“BOVERED face bovered face” slurred Hazel
“Oh god she’s started her Catherine Tate impression take that sherry off her Harriet.” Shouted Balls.
Gordon tried to continue but was interrupted by the doorbell.
“Who the hell is that?” yelled Gordon quickly getting a cob on.
“Hello Darling here have another bag of cash.” Said Abrahams for it was he.
“Will you all shut up for a minute!!” yelled Gordon
“Last night I had a dream” he continued
“I saw the future and I realised that we have to change our ways.So from now on I’m going to make sure there are no more cock ups or catastrophes or bags of cash for honours so you’re all sacked!”
Tiny David began to cry Hazel fell over the Christmas Tree and Darling’s hair turned black.
“Balls” said Balls
“You can’t do that” yelled Harriet “Who will take our place?”
“I want my Mum” cried Tiny David standing in a puddle.
“I’m glad you asked that Harriet may I introduce our cook Mrs T evidently she used to live here many years ago and will be taking over as new Housekeeper and Cabinet adviser from January.”
“Balls” said Balls

Outside a lone carol singer looked through the frosty window.
“Merry Christmas” said Spotty Cameron for it was he. “And a very Happy New Year.”

The End

Gordon Scrooge looked at the clock. It was 4am. What a strange night it had been so far. Even stranger than the night he’d sneaked next door and put a dose of Epsom salts in Tony’s coffee mug he thought. Suddenly there was another crash from downstairs.
“Balls?” cried Gordon
“Yes Scrooge” replied Balls
“No not you this time I mean it!!” screamed Gordon.
There standing at the end of the bed was the one and only Tony Blair.
“Hello Gordon I always had my suspicions about you and my coffee mug, I bet it was you who kept putting banana skins at the top of the stairs as well.”
“Er well I can explain it er” stumbled Gordon turning bright red.
“ Well Gordon I am the ghost of Christmas Future and we’re going on a little trip.”
“Yo Blair!”
“Hold on who’s that?” asked Gordon
“That’s my new right hand man and future President of the 52nd State of Britannia I met him when I was in the motherland.”
“But isn’t he”
“Homer J Simpson at your service. Do you have any doughnuts?”
“D’oh!” exclaimed Gordon
“Hey that’s my line”

That Shimmery Shaky thing they do when they enter a dream sequence..

“Where are we now” winced Gordon
“Don’t you recognise it? This is Britannia 2097”
“But where is everyone it looks like a dessert. This can’t be right.”
“It’s far too hot to live on the surface so everyone lives underground now, well those that are left anyway. Remember global warming?”
“All year sun tans whoo hoo!”
“Shut up Homer”
“Now look at this”
“Why is that family living in a glass dome.”
“That Gordon is one of the last middle class British families in captivity, they are very rare now.”
“But but I..” stammered Gordon
“You remember the decision you made about pensions in 1997?”
“Er you didn’t see me do it, you can’t prove anything!” said Gordon
“Hey that’s what Bart says, you haven’t seen my friend Butts have you? His first name is Seymour” replied Homer
“Seymour Butts?”
“Cracks me up every time nice one Homer! Now where was I” laughed Tony,
“Well that decision started a slow building recession that resulted in the collapse of the economy as we knew it and Britain was put up for sale on the open market. Luckily a consortium of Tesco and Serco headed up by a Polish plumber called Marek put up enough cash to take over. They now run the place as a living museum charging the rest of the world to come and have a look.”
“Oh dear looks like Gordie did a bad thing, now do I get some doughnuts?”
“Shut up Homer” snapped Tony.
“ooh I do feel queer?” said Gordon
“Time to go back he’s lapsed into using Kenneth Williams Carry on lines again, this always used to happen when he got stressed.”
“Infamy infamy they’ve all got it infamy” wailed Gordon
to be continued............

Gordon Scrooge sat in bed shaking with fear it was true the ghost of Christmas Past had fair put the wind up him. Suddenly there was another crash from downstairs.
“B-B-Balls?” stammered Gordon
“I know its you we don’t have any mice."
Poof!
“Nice to see you to see you nice.” Said Bruce for it was he.
“Oh no not again.” Quivered Gordon
“All right my love, I am the ghost of Christmas Present…. Now lets have a look on the old conveyor belt shall we.”

Shimmery Shaky That Thing They Do On The Telly to Go Into a Dream Sequence!

”Wait a minute this is Harriet's Office” said Gordon
“ But why is she putting used five pound notes in that sack? Oh no it’s David Abrahams and she’s giving him an OBE, I can’t believe it, there must be thousands in that sack.”
“Didn’t she do well!”
“Shut up Bruce”
“Charming”
Poof!
“Now where are we I don’t recognise this, what are those men doing with those CD’s”
“Go on give us a twirl.”
“I won’t tell you again Bruce”
“Touchy”
“But wait they are copying thousands of bank details into that laptop this can’t be right they’re stealing the identities of half the population.”
“Well lets look at the scores on the doors criminals 24 government 0. Ouch”
“Serves you right. Take me back I’ve seen enough”
“You’ve still got to appear in the final for the chance to win a cuddly toy.”
Poof!
“Where are we now, wait I recognise that fat chap with a turkey leg in his hand. I know it’s the Chairman of Northern Rock but why is he having a banquet and is that a gold Rolex on his arm.”
“Don’t think he found that on the old conveyor belt”

Shimmery Shaky That Thing They Do On The Telly to come out a Dream Sequence!

Back at number 10 Gordon was looking white as a sheet.
“Right my love I’m off I promised to drop in on Len Goodman for a quick Guinness.”
“Don’t go Bruce I’m scared here on my own”
“Sorry Gordon you’re on your todd mate you know what they say you get nothing for a pair not in this game.”

To be continued……………

That night Gordon Scrooge was tucked up in bed with a cup of Horlicks and a good book. Well in fact it was the Interim Treasury Report on Sub Prime Loans but he only looked at the pictures. Suddenly there was an unearthly groan from downstairs.
“Is that you Balls?” shouted Gordon
“I’ve warned you about photocopying your bottom its not big and its certainly not clever”.
With a load bang the door burst open.
“Balls!” cried Gordon
“Charming I must say mate. Here am I the great Frankie Howerd from beyond the grave and all you can do is give me a mouthful. I don't know why I bother.”
“What ? I don’t understand what do you want?” quivered Gordon pulling the bedclothes up around his neck.
“ Look mate oh this sheet is chaffing at me bits Mrs I can tell you. I only got this part because I was cheap. Me the great Francis reduced to this.”
“But I don’t understand.”
“You’ve said that stop repeating yourself anybody would think you were the Prime Minister, the Prime Minister, oh please yourselves. Now I am the ghost of Christmas past and I’ve come to take you on a journey back in time. So mush lets get a move on I’ve got a Turkey in the oven.”

Shimmery Shaky That Thing They Do On The Telly to Go Into a Dream Sequence!

”Where are we?” said Gordon.
“This is 1954 and look that’s you wearing a little pair of tartan pants and oh er Mrs I say I’ve not seen one that big.”
“It’s a sporran”
“Yes I’ll take your word for that! Anyway lets listen in." said Francis

“Gordon”
“Yes father”
“I’ve arranged for your Uncle Rab to take you to the match tomorrow.”
“But Father I’d much rather stay here and play with my home bankers kit.”
[That’s enough of that Mrs I know what you’re thinking, naughty naughty says Francis]
“Ah Gordon why can’t you be like the other boys they want to play football and chase girls all you do is stay at home and play banker”
[Yes that’s quite enough of that says Francis naughty naughty and thrice naughtey!]

Shimmery Shaky That Thing They Do On The Telly to come out a Dream Sequence!

Back at No 10 Gordon suddenly sits bolt upright.

“But I don’t understand” he cried
“Blimey here we go again, look mush that’s me done I’m off but just like NHS Hospital closures there’ll be another one along in a minute. Well what do expect for this money Groucho Marx!

To be continued………..

Who invented Piccalilli and where does it go for the other eleven months of the year?

Mr Gordon Scrooge shuffled along Downing Street it was only 6:30am but already the city was waking. As he approached the front steps of No10 he stopped in his tracks. Pointing at a Holly Wreath on the door he shouted.
“Balls!”
“Yes Mr Scrooge Sir” replied Balls for it was he with hammer and nails in hand.
“What is that on my door?”
“It’s a Christmas decoration Sir.”
“Piffle and nonsense” scoured Scrooge pushing into the hallway.
“But Sir” said Balls following his master inside.
“We were wondering on account of this being your first Christmas in charge of the firm you’d reconsider your e-mail sir.”
“e-mail what are you blathering about man.”
“The one that said there would be new rules this Christmas and that the Days of the Vicar were over and there would be no more Christmas holidays and certainly no more jumpers from that strange preacher from Texas Sir. I showed it to Tiny David and he started crying.”
“Yes Balls I know he did, him and that brother of his are far too soft for my liking.Anyway those jumpers were far too big for him ungrateful little so and so.”
“Well Sir will you reconsider? Harriet has already sent out the Christmas Cards and HMRC have lost another 2 more discs of data to celebrate, we’ve even got a special Christmas stocking put up for donations to Northern Rock.Its only one day after all and I’ve checked with Darling he says he’s got enough out of the Christmas club to pay for a Turkey and he’ll make sure it doesn’t have bird flu. That nice Mr Abrahams has offered to buy us a tree with shiny baubles on, oh we could have such a party, Hazel has even agreed to do her Catherine Tate impression.”
“Balls”
“Yes Sir”
“Shut up and get back to work or whatever it is I employ you for. Don’t you realise that the Liberal Democrats have appointed a leader who doesn’t believe in God and that toady Cameron is bound to have something up his sleeve. We've also got half a million illegal immigrants to find not to mention those soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan."
"Soldiers Sir"
"I said not to mention them."
"Sorry"
"So Balls there is no way that you or anyone else can have Christmas off and that’s final. Now get Darling on the phone and arrange for Tiny David to meet me in my office in ten minutes. Oh and take off that ridiculous paper hat.”
…..to be continued

Ok so now the BBC have relented and decided not to censor The Pogues "Fairytale of New York" what's your top 5 Christmas songs? Marvo's Chart is:

1. Let It Snow Let It Snow - Dean Martin
2. Merry Xmas Baby - Bruce Springsteen
3. Fairytale of New York - The Pogues and Kirsty Macoll
4. Dig That Crazy Santa Claus - Brian Setzer
5. Christmas Baby Please Come Home - Darlene Love

Take new England manager Fabio Capello, remove the glasses add a fez and .............it's Tommy Cooper. Just like that!

A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow one night, when
the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining" he said to his
wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me" she replied.

"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.

Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about
whether it was raining or snowing. Just then, they saw a minor communist
party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man
said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or
snowing."

As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is
it officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course!" he replied, and walked on.

But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!"

The man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won 10 grand with Claims Direct.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there? '
Said the pie man unto Simon
'Pies you dickhead.'

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing

FROM:Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator

TO:All Employees

DATE:8th. November 2007

RE:Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols …. please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if your line manager shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our line manager will make a special announcement at the Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Maria

Part 2

FROM:Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator

TO:All Employees

DATE:9th. November 2007

RE:Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party". The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Maria

Part 3

FROM:Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator

TO:All Employees

DATE:10th. November 2007

RE:Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table … you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!!
How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and Management believe £10.00 is a little cheap.

NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Maria

Part 4

FROM:Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator

TO:All Employees

DATE:11th. November 2007

RE:Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslin employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything ?!?!?!?!

Maria

Part 5

FROM:Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator

TO:All F** Employees

DATE:12th. November 2007

RE:The F** Holiday Party
Vegetarians I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW !! I hope you all have a rotten holiday,

The Bitch from HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FROM:Brid Forde, Acting Departmental Administrator

DATE:13th. November 2007

RE:Maria Mercer and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Maria Mercer a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.

Happy Holidays !

Reporters believe they have finally tracked down the only woman in Britain not to have her personal details lost by a government department in the last month. Talking to the Daily Scandal Mrs Ida Throttle said. "yes thats right dear I'm Mrs Ida Throttle of 145 Old China Lane, Neasden, I was born on 31st July 1937 you know and my National Insurance number is YZ4356789. Now if you're paying by cheque you better put it in the Barclays Account the pin numbers 231136 same date as my husband Albert's birthday. Oh I don't think I should have told you that now everyone will know how old he is, oh what am I like!"

1 demolition of East End £2 billion
1 Olympic Village £1 billion
1 Olympic Stadium Complete with tent £1,000 plus deposit
1 Transport System £ 5 billion
1 Knighthood for Seb Coe £ 150 plus robe
Cost of Olympic Medals £ 250 second hand from Bejing
New Frock for Tessa Jowell £ 500
VAT £ 500 million
Catering by Jamie Oliver £ 10 million (plus buffalo mozzarella)
Olympic Logo £ 500,000 (including free crayons)
New Hat for Mrs Brown £ 500
Free tickets for the Cabinet £ 100,000
Free tickets for Londoners £ 45
Bits I forgot £ 500,000
Just In case I bugger it Up again £ 50 billion (not to be included on quote)
Total £ 9 billion (honest!)

1. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

2. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

3. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

4. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

5. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

6. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

7. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

8. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

8. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?

9. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

10. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

A question from the latest GCSE Maths Paper

1. I buy a bear for £5 and name it Muhammad. I sell it for £20. Do I make a Prophet?

From this weeks Private Eye:

"Would you like to Champion high quality bus services and can you make a significant change to customer focused service?"

Translation: Worcestershire County Council have a vacancy for a bus driver

In a further twist to the amazing story of the man who disappeared for 5 years in a canoe a Mr Reginald Perrin of Cheam has issued legal proceedings. Speaking from the offices of his former employers Sunshine Desserts Mr Perrin said "I'm sorry I'm ten minutes late a badger ate a junction box at Chiswick." adding "I perfected the disappearing act many years ago and ever since its been known as doing a Reggie Perrin I don't want some Johnny come lately who appears after smashing up his canoe taking me out of the limelight." Mr Perrin's former director CJ commented "I didn't get where I am today by letting my wife sell the house and move to Panama!".

Yesterday at the station I came across an Unpaid Fares Authorisation Officer? Would that be a Ticket Collector then? Anyone got anymore examples of crap job names?

Visiting an Old Peoples Home Gordon Brown was frustrated that the residents didn't seem very impressed. Feeling slightly miffed at the fact they were ignoring him the PM decided to approach a little old lady sitting watching the TV.
"Excuse me my dear" said Gordon
"Can't you see I'm watching Paul O'Grady" snapped the Old Lady
"I'm sorry but do you know who I am" continued Gordon
"No dear. " replied the old lady "but if you ask matron she'll tell you"

Leaving today's seminar in London a little early I decided to pay a visit to Berwick Street market in the West End. I spent too many hours down there over the years from about the age of 16 searching out cheap record (and then CD) shops. Returning after a few years was a sad experience the market stall outside Cheapo Cheapo's at the lower end of the market had gone along I assume with the man for who Del Boy Trotter coined the phrase "Did you sue the Charm School?" All the fruit and veg merchants had disappeared as well and a few dodgy looking women had set up home either side of the shop. The bookshop on the corner of what we used to call raincoat passage where I once bought my Carry On Companion for £4:99 now caters much more for the dirty mac brigade. The fish mongers across the road, one of London's finest in its time has become a strip club. In the upper part of the market Wreckless Records is now a cafe, and the basement at Mr CD where the famous £1 sale hid all kinds of gems has now been boarded up with the entrance now covered by a stand containing an XBox console. So that's another piece of my life gone.

"The day they knocked down the palais, my sister stood and cried, the day they knocked down the palais part of my childhood died" - Ray Davies

Why is it dogs get all the good phrases? If humans do something wrong they are in the Doghouse if they have had a hard day they're Dog Tired. What about us cats eh? Then again if there was a cathouse I'd be in it at the moment as Mrs M wants my insides for a tennis raquet. Well what's a girl to do they put this big green tree in the living room and cover it with sparkly bits so you just have to do a bit of exploring don't you. Ok launching myself off the top of the bannister's was a bit extreme but when I hit the tree i thought it would have roots and stay where it was. Oops it wasn't until I was falling through the air that I noticed all that was holding it up was a small metal stand. Luckily I was up the curtains by the time the tree crashed to the ground smashing 2 of Marvo's best balls. Mrs M wasn't best pleased so I had to put on the Shrek eyes for two days to get back in her good books. She's out tonight though so when Marvo falls asleep in front of the TV it might just be time for a little more exploring, someones got to rescue the poor doll they've shoved on the top.

See ya

Pheebs

Have brought Little Boss and Mrs M a Nintendo DS for Xmas. To add to it I ordered a copy of More Brain Training from game.co.uk. It arrived this morning and in the box they'd packed the wrong game. Methinks they've kept More Brain Training for themselves as they obviously need it!

News just in that returning British teacher Gillian Gibbons may face further court action when she sets foot back on British soil. The World Boxing Council are considering an action against her for naming a cuddly bear after the greatest heavyweight champion of all time. Spokesman Fred Thumper said "Some people might think its trivial but we can't have a well hard boxer like Muhammad Ali named after a cuddly teddy can we, I mean people will think we're all soft." A further law suit could follow from the British Union of Teddies as their representative Rupert explained. "Well we are very cuddly but I'm afraid we object to one of our kind being named after a prophet.Its not that we've got anything against Islam but we have to admit as my friend Paddington put it those Sudanese are a considerable amount of marmalade short of a sandwich." There was some good news though Muhammad Muhammad of Muhammads All Night Bakery in Southall said. "Man I love that woman ever since those nutters locked her up I can't sell enough of my special Muhammad ginger bread men!". There is though no truth in the rumour that in a related incident a Sudanese hit squad has been dispatched to assassinate "Big Mo" from Eastenders.